Thrings October 16, 2008

for four days it hunkered in the beaker
frothing at first, a fizzing frenzy
corroding deceptively.
bubble.tipped it would lift with ten teeny gleambeads
to break the oiled surface of the vinegar universe
only to wobble~glide back into the ascerbic pool.

.

 

these.bones :
calcium carbonate crystals
are eggshells,
taking the weight of a man if standing straight
but easily crushed from the side.
a lifetime later, 
transluscent as a golden womb foetus
air~trembling;
the naked egg
places its hands over its ears and begs
.

Don’t say love
.

and after three commonsense defying bounces
egg
split.skinned and cosmos weary
slides its acetic secrets silently down the plug.`

the usefulness of Pyrex September 17, 2008

this dish: hum empty
               panning the air for a rush of you
               a dash of matter;

reflects my face back at me
a terrible melange 
formless, fearful

.

(you draw out a chair.  Point a pen.  Place papers perfectly.)

.

                swirling air settles
                mettle dust; a bloom of yellow.
                Pyrites grinds my carteledge with every step:
                
                 a cold taxis steels me to wait for gold.

 

i slice apples into the dish.  The oven ticks as it heats.

Information September 15, 2008

I’m getting better now
re re membering
i can make up my own mind in the back bedroom.
crispness of newsheets
newdays
and an aircrack before cotton.settles
no longer a guest in my guestbed.

I haven’t written for so long

it has been medicine, i think.  Necessary, a stilling time
distilling time.

I am studying again, for knowledge s:lowers my pulse
and i am at peace alone.

There are people whom I owe thanks to, who have been picked up, then thrown down. 
I have been a tantruming child.  I have been selfish.

the vulnerability of newness July 10, 2008

1

slat slanty blind ~ lines shine
from that screamingsun

onto the white wall
the white sheet
the ward walls

hurried blinks for fear of being caught napping

we file, shufflefooted in invisible iron boots, one then one then one
and so.on

soon
(for our secret plans are fattening and one by one by one will lead further)

 

2
slat slanty blind ~ light shines
thigh lines
on his obliging skin:
i fight time

running on scree , freefalling into
so little, so much

Naked, it is love and clothed we are virtual strangers
he with no voice and I with too many words

antipoetry April 28, 2008

amicable. adj. characterized by friendliness and absence of discord.  ORIGIN (in the sense of pleasant) from late L. amicus ‘friend’

an amicable seper ashun

friend. n. 1 a person with whom one has had a bond of mutual affection, typically one exclusive of sexual or family relations. > used in polite address to an aquaintance or stranger. 2 a familiar or helpful thing.  ORIGIN OE freond of gmc origin; rel to FREE

i need the freedom to  b r e a t h e
                             to  moneyworry
to lay stiff-as-a-board in my bed

and laugh HA HA HA like a
robot
         HA HA HA     with blotchy skin
                              and a painted-on smile like blossom too early
                              dashed to asphalt by pounding rain
to mush, to mush!

 

in this pyrrhic silence
i am a tambourine
still for now

 

.
 

 

april 18th April 18, 2008

 

perfectly grey, perfectly clear
stone and twig 

 ice-winds
tumble and shove
This terrible cave

blown to face her by gusting April winds.
the weed bucket lures her into its hellish mouth
plastic silent scream
pattered by rain.

spring makes a mockery of her
as a crowd
loudly surging forward to an invisible horizon
an invisible end
and what but the light shall guide the days

a liar, a liar
of safety.

the gravel is deliciously bland and innate
heavy as her hands; crepe-paper wrapped sticks
as useless as the bucket that offers no hiding place.
 

Was it potatoes or tomatoes they called love apples, I can’t remember? April 13, 2008

pernicious persimmon
oh we are all so sadforyou
seedfilled and bloating in your
                                     shiny fatskin-firmflesh

cowering, glowering in the seedbeds and
sniping with the seeedliings
you skulk-sulk
and turn my stomach with your fleshy ripeness.

sooner or later a toad will  s u c k
the jooce from you
and all that shall remain will be your  shiny  red  skin
shrivelled and crisping in the sun  .ha. .ha.

poor persimmon, all alone in the gar-den
pop you in the compost bin               with the worms~and~woodlice
you will be   sufficiently   miserable there

you will like it.

 

annual show March 24, 2008

cellophanewrapped
flimsy and so full of what-may-happens;
On   This   Cold   Day
                                    the small schedule of classes on my doormat
brings August
early

heaven knows we need some sunshine
Dahlia – 1 vase, 3 blooms, miniature, Decorative, Cactus or Semi-Cactus
under thick.canvas, a sordino for the obligatory unexpected summer downpour

We nearly bought a pair of yellow-footed calling ducks
and

‘why are there so many doctors?’ my son asked, watching
                                the livestock judges in their white coats            we had laughed then.

this torsion kills me now

: a dundee cake, cherries allowed

                                                           .

three rings March 14, 2008

then again, we could
.
.
the phone burrrrrrs off the rest and
I burn off the rest of the daylong shadows with a match
Sulphurous
.
.
we could be lovers, i suppose, but what for, really?
.
.
for fun,
for conversations about penguins
                         and sharing meals
.
.
i smile.
i  wonder if he would say that if i were a fat cook
with a patio
and no thyme ~  and i laugh while i tip on my chair
.
.
we could be lovers without fun, or friends without
passion,
why waste both by being greedy? – i ask
.
.
i would never ask you to choose, never promise, never lie
.
.
surely saying never is a kind of promise,
let’s say nothing and lay in the dark 
.
.
.then again
.
.
don’t say love, don’t say love, don’t say love
.
.    
why are you afraid of  love ~ love is lovely? 
love is strong,
                       not snap.brittle,
                       not prinkling and shardish,it bounces,                  like a vinegar egg.
.
.
but look at you.  you are in so much pain and all for love, all of it, for love.
.
.
Shh, so very little to do with love, so very tiny and nothing
ob lei gaysh un 
that is all.  and bricks.   Yes.  it is rather a lot about bricks and 
.
.
you are small, come here, come and watch television and I will make you toast and draw eights on your arm with the teaspoon handle.  I will hold your feet and watch your face while you think about things and i will listen to you.  come here 
.
.
i have to go now
to the river
i have stones to swallow
i will see you soon
.
.
.
.
epilogue
.

snipping foil with scissors is so very satisfying, so sharp.clean and perfectly blunting and i
  breathe and
  breathe and
  breathe . still . hearing the sea in the reciever, my breath soporific on return
{amongst the escape- the retreat of wordmemories; he shouts about the car and i crumple inside ~ for the differences balanceon a cottonthread on an eyelash and now, now again i am crying like a bruise, like an apple bruise and shaking so badly, and it’s all about the car}
.
.

i have to leave three rings before answering ~ its just what i do, thats all March 11, 2008

then again, we could

the phone burrrrrrs off the rest and I burn off the rest of the days shadows with a match
Sulphurous

we could be lovers, i suppose, but what for, really?

for fun, for conversations about penguins and sharing meals

smile and wonder if he would say that if i were a terrible cook with a patio
with no thyme and chives and i laugh while i hang the mirror

we could be lovers without fun, or friends without passion, why waste both by being greedy – i ask

i would never ask you to choose, never promise, never lie

surely saying never is a kind of promise, slip slidey shale beds lay quietly, blueloaming, after all

i am not sure i understand

no, i am not surprised

snipping foil with scissors is so very satisfying, so sharp.clean and perfectly blunting and i breathe and breathe and breathe still, hearing the sea in the reciever, my breath soporific on return

                                                    {amongst the escape the retreat of wordmemories; he shouts about the car and i crumple inside ~ for the differences balance on a cottonthread on an eyelash and now, now again i am crying like a bruise, like an apple bruise and shaking so badly, and all over the car}             

don’t say love, don’t say love, don’t say love    

why are you afraid of love, love is lovely?  , love is strong, not snap.brittle, not prinkling and shardish, it bounces, like a vinegar egg.

but look at you.  you are in so much pain and all for love, all of it, for love.

ah!    o   no sweet you no no.  nothing to do with love
ob leigh gaysh un  that is all, and bricks.
Yes, it is rather a lot about bricks and

you are small, come here, come and watch television and I will make you toast and draw squiggles on your arm with the teaspoon handle, the way you like it.  I will hold your feet and watch your face while you think about things and i will listen to you.  come here

i have to go now to the river
i have stones to swallow
i will see you soon

.