three rings March 14, 2008

then again, we could
.
.
the phone burrrrrrs off the rest and
I burn off the rest of the daylong shadows with a match
Sulphurous
.
.
we could be lovers, i suppose, but what for, really?
.
.
for fun,
for conversations about penguins
                         and sharing meals
.
.
i smile.
i  wonder if he would say that if i were a fat cook
with a patio
and no thyme ~  and i laugh while i tip on my chair
.
.
we could be lovers without fun, or friends without
passion,
why waste both by being greedy? - i ask
.
.
i would never ask you to choose, never promise, never lie
.
.
surely saying never is a kind of promise,
let’s say nothing and lay in the dark 
.
.
.then again
.
.
don’t say love, don’t say love, don’t say love
.
.    
why are you afraid of  love ~ love is lovely? 
love is strong,
                       not snap.brittle,
                       not prinkling and shardish,it bounces,                  like a vinegar egg.
.
.
but look at you.  you are in so much pain and all for love, all of it, for love.
.
.
Shh, so very little to do with love, so very tiny and nothing
ob lei gaysh un 
that is all.  and bricks.   Yes.  it is rather a lot about bricks and 
.
.
you are small, come here, come and watch television and I will make you toast and draw eights on your arm with the teaspoon handle.  I will hold your feet and watch your face while you think about things and i will listen to you.  come here 
.
.
i have to go now
to the river
i have stones to swallow
i will see you soon
.
.
.
.
epilogue
.

snipping foil with scissors is so very satisfying, so sharp.clean and perfectly blunting and i
  breathe and
  breathe and
  breathe . still . hearing the sea in the reciever, my breath soporific on return
{amongst the escape- the retreat of wordmemories; he shouts about the car and i crumple inside ~ for the differences balanceon a cottonthread on an eyelash and now, now again i am crying like a bruise, like an apple bruise and shaking so badly, and it’s all about the car}
.
.