but oh my how it hurts February 28, 2008

now that the crocuses are peeping
bashfully
                 (we are so sorry, we know its early but we are here)

and last time, last time, last year…….this time last year, when I was happy
and
whole

and notshattered

no edits, no sobriety will make this coherent, only straight.

so I let him cut me a fringe, I sat there like a baby with my
head in their hands,

Me heart in their hands
my grief in their hands                                                dear everyone
                                                                                        please be so kind as to
                                                                                        rip off my skin and send it back
                                                                                        in the self addressed envelope
                                                                                        quickly now

                                                                                        quickly please

the papers are pending
my everything is B
                                 ending                                and i amhollow at once
                                                                             pretending to be pragmatic
                                                                             comforting myself in other bodies
                                                                             in other broken people

help me

i do not look good with my hair like this
I do not look good like this in thisskin  in this blood this splash of intestines
                                                              take your jolly fuckin’ music
                                                              take your good advice
                                                              take my stomach and squeeze

words
pins and needles

tea and biscuits
salt and pepper

yeah, I’m smoking again and do you fucking care, do you, do you fucking care, do you?
 
 

so i went February 24, 2008

and it was nice
                         [rare bloody-slice
                         treebark beef]
                                                        enough

the house was most.empty on return
                          most emp tee
an allabout me   ee lek tri sit ee   tingled
                           moth;breath
                                                

                                                                                  in anotherlife it would be
                                                                                  (Da da daaaaa…….)LOVE

but oh, shhh, not here, notnow
sosilly silly silly

                                                                                (it was allfine ~  then you{shh, stop} said
                                                                                                            thatthing

your mouth is beautiful when you are thinking circles

                                                                                                                     see!  see!)

whata hullabaloo inme

wallet hypoxia February 17, 2008

is over at last
and from the hilltop
my arm, strained back and
~flingring a spin: freezing air humms
and a perfect arc through scritchbranches
to softland in seven years of leaflitter mossbeds
                                                       :archaeologists
upon removing the old.hill will call for the magnifying glass

                                                                                                            SLJ 2001

what are we to do about the carpet February 14, 2008

but pull it up~ stuckbacked and smellling
heave it
leaving gritmotes and hairy bits ev ree where

                                         yeah, you’d be proud of me for listmaking
                                         []kitchen ceiling
                                         []dump carpet
                                         []beer better muthur
                                         []repairlife n broke n heart
                                         []dinner?

sniggle yourself thin within grim.walls
                                         night recalls and the depths of the lumbering dream.sea

~ waterweight
dreamstate numbering

swallow’cobbles
                           bellyheavy and alltogether
                           a good idea to hold me down
                          

                                                                                         if you love me
                                                                                         hold my coldhand
                                                                                         and
                                                                                         stand
.

.
[durdledoor  shh   so bowbacked
                       i am.small but i'll hold you]

                                                                      put it in the boot and then i can tick
                                                                      a []
                                                                                        
                                         
                               

good reasons to bellylaugh February 8, 2008

longly hiding
                        popback
~hello wulfstan, my friend
OH?

your writing went.where?

                                    ooOO…… mine too

poor mr.charlie
sillybilly
 

                                  i am lotslaughing
                                  and glad for the lesson
                                  to lessen your obsession

stopsulking
pickup your bow and play

twolines February 6, 2008

Ana Morana, mirror shiner, polishes mirrors in Daisy’s Diner.
 

 

dearrob February 1, 2008

see
i knew you look-peered
                             like you do,

hoping to catch me out so you can
                            scratch.me.out and shoutabout~doubt

so fullawords and yet                                              not even 1
                                                                                       will do
                                                                                       foryou

here are some ways i love you :                                 shhh

do you hear scurrying? worryflurries? 
                                                                  [never to mind, where were we?]

ah yes.

there are no easbys in the chambers biographical dictionary and the dog is going mad
eating its own leg
because it misses you so fucking much
so i shout at it and                  feelbetter

and it smells~ ; so
i know all the time
that it misses you

i am sorry that there was not enough petrol in THECAR

                                                                                    strangely, a red admiral
                                                                                    skimmed the slick-slope
                                                                                    squelch-grass pitches;
                                                                                    sideways and papery.